Educated or Brainwashed?
This summer, I went back to China with the intention to spend quality time with my mother. Instead, I found myself listening to her complaints: about bad marriages, deceitful doctors, money scammers. Years of inner work helped me to stay grounded and listen with presence and compassion. Eventually, I asked: “If those people treated you so badly, why didn’t you fight back?”
She paused, then said: “My education doesn’t allow me to do such a thing.”
My education doesn’t allow me to do such a thing. That sentence stuck with me. What kind of education teaches someone not to act for their own well-being? It reminded me of Simone de Beauvoir’s writing in The Second Sex:
“One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman.
To be feminine is to show oneself as passive, and docile…Any self-assertion will take away from her femininity...”
Education? Socialization? Brainwashing?
My mother grew up in a devoted Buddhist family, proud of her education and “proper” upbringing. She mediated arguments, gave generously, smiled to neighbors – even to those who have wronged us. Like many women raised in a collective society, she was conditioned to be “nice,” docile, and compliant.
Ironically, any infant instinctively cries or kicks when in distress, yet years of socialization alienated her from that instinct. She was taught to suppress her raw emotion and behave as others deem acceptable, and her natural drive to defend herself had been muted by subtle societal pressures; or, as my mother said, her education doesn’t allow her to stand up and fight for herself.
I look at my mother and I just want to shout: What you received is brainwashing, not education.
American educator John Taylor Gatto said:
“The purpose of education is to empower individuals, not control them.”
If i can put it simply:
| Education | Brainwashing |
|---|---|
| Expands choices | Restricts choices |
| Increases freedom | Limits freedom |
| Promotes self-agency | Promotes obedience |
| Fosters compassion | Promotes fear |
I can list endless more bullet points, but if you want the short cut, I’d say our body knows the truth. If we pause and listen, it can guide us to distinguish one from the other.
Reconnecting to Your True Needs
After nearly a month of listening to my mother vent, I eventually invited her to join my morning mindfulness routine. I asked her to breathe naturally, notice her body sensations, stay curious, and follow what arises:
“Try not to think. Just breathe with me.”
At the end, I asked:
“Think about those people again. How do you feel?”
She stopped her lotus pose, legs and arms spread, face flushed with determination:
“I want to kick and crush them.”
For the first time, I saw self-agency. Her instinct to act for herself had surfaced.
When we drop the noise of “education” and pay attention to our bodies, we reconnect with what is most human — the instinct to protect, to act, to reclaim choice. That, to me, is the beginning of real education.
The next time you hear an inner voice say “I can’t or I shouldn’t”, pause, breathe, and ask yourself:
Is this education, or brainwashing? Stay curious there, your body usually knows the answer.
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